sparkmygenius.com

• 24Oct

  Homework Tips, Myths and Helicopter Parents

  Sparks of Genius, homework, parenting, school, social skills 1 Comment

  I came across a new term last week — helicopter parents. It describes baby boomers that started families as thirty-somethings. They evolved a more involved parenting style, which has persisted into elementary school, high school, and even college. Bostonia, the alumni magazine of Boston University, describes this new breed of parent this way:

  “…helicopter parents, moms and dads, who hover over their college-age children, chiming in on everything from housing assignments to homework.”

  No, they’re not actually doing the homework for the “child,” but they’re still involved in the process.

  Lately homework has become a big issue. In the past twenty years, the tendency has definitely been to pile more and more homework on younger and younger children. Alfie Kohn identifies five themes about homework complaints:
  1) A burden on parents
  2) Stress for children
  3) Family conflict
  4) Less time for other activities
  5) Less interest in learning

  Let’s take just one finding from the latest research:

  “there is no evidence of any academic benefit from homework in elementary school.”

  For more information, go to http://www.alfiekohn.org/books/hm.htm. or check out The Homework Myth: Why Our Kids Get Too Much of a Bad Thing.

  The key is to rethink homework, says Kohn. Instead of schools and teachers automatically assigning homework on a regular basis because “it is the policy to do so,” he suggests that the regular condition should be no homework. Homework should be given only if it is beneficial to the student.

  Another person re-thinking homework is Richard Lovoie, who agrees with Kohn on this point and also believes that as students move towards high school that “well planned, appropriate homework can have motivational and academic benefits.” Go to http://www.ricklavoie.com/motivationbreakthrough.html

  In either case, we can now move on to a few homework tips.
  1) Use trial and error to determine the best time and place for your child to do homework.
  2) Prepare a homework toolbox or kit with all basic, essential tools and supplies.
  3) Ask the teacher for an acceptable example of your child’s homework that has been corrected and is neat and legible. Use this as an example to show your child what to aim for. Consistency is important.
  4) If your child is very disorganized, go to http://www.organizedstudent.com/ and read and implement suggestions from “The Disorganized Student.”
  5) If your child is overwhelmed by too much homework, clear everything away except one assignment. When it is completed, give him another one.
  6) Many parents and professionals believe that homework should be done where it is quiet, but the fact is that many students are more productive listening to music in the background – especially instrumental music.
  7) If your child has attention, distractibility and impulsivity issues, read and implement strategies from “A Homework System That Works” at http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1034.html
  If your child is very intense, sensitive and needy, go to http://difficultchild.com/ and learn how to apply the Nurtured Heart Approach to help your child.

  We see a lot of students at Sparks of Genius (www.sparksofgenius.com), especially elementary school students, and I have to agree that homework is a major issue for all of them and their parents. And parents, by the way, means mothers. Right?

  I know homework is an issue when the mother says “We have a lot of homework tonight.” So here’s another homework tip. When you check your child’s completed homework, look for neatness and completeness. Look over a few answers, but do not get caught up in going over every item.

  Too many parents get overly involved in their elementary school student’s homework. Remember, you do not want to become a helicopter parent.

  Recently I asked a mother of two, a dental hygienist, how she successfully got her son do complete his homework independently. She said “Look, I spent a lot of years teaching him how to have a positive attitude about homework, how to manage his time, how to complete his homework at the same time and place, how to use his homework toolbox, how to be organized and how to take responsibility for doing homework that is neat and complete and for handing it in.”

  “When he entered seventh grade I told him he was on his own,” she continued. “What happened?” I asked. “Nothing,” she said. “He just started doing it.”

  Remember, you do not want to become a helicopter parent. Or do you?

  –Dr. Rohn Kessler

• 24Oct

  Dreaming with Open Eyes

  Sparks of Genius, aspergers, intelligence, learning disability, parenting, social skills, special olympics No Comments

  On October 20, 2007 I was invited by the Florida Special Arts Center www.flsac.org. to address an audience of several hundred persons invited to view a new documentary called Bridging to Gap: A True Lesson in Humanity.

  Let me tell you the story of this documentary.

  The parents of three special needs young adults designed a “color guard” program for “developmentally disabled” young adults. Now if you are wondering what a color guard is, modern color guard is defined as “a combination of military drill, also called marching, and the use of flags, sabers, mock rifles, shields and other equipment, as well as dance and other interpretive movement.” It is typically seen in parades or halftime events. Until now it has never been part of the special needs world. Now, thanks to the vision of Jerry and Ellen Kleinert-Cohn, it is.

  Anyway, the color guard, now called the Special Needs Color Guard of America, got invited to perform in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and the documentary tells the story of that trip.

  Ellen Kleinert-Cohn put together a program to train these adults to perform at many local events. She even got them a chance to perform at the Winter Guard International (WGI) Color Guard World Championships.

  I was invited to speak at the screening of Bridging the Gap. Here are some excerpts from my speech.

  “Martin Luther King had a dream of freedom. Ellen Kleinert-Cohn and Jerry Cohn have dream of inclusion, a dream that children and adults with special needs such as developmental disabilities will be fully included as belonging. They understood that we all have special needs.
  Lawrence of Arabia said “All men dream, but not all equally. Those who dream by night, in the dusty recesses of their mind, wake to find it was all vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous, for they may act their dreams with open eyes and make things happen”.

  Dr. King dreamed with open eyes. So do Ellen and Jerry.

  I too dream with open eyes. I dream of taking the best of neuroscience research and combining it with great computer technology to ignite people’s sparks of genius. I dream of brain fitness centers where people of all ages “work out” to improve cognitive and executive function skills.

  Today people between the ages of six and eighty-three come to Boca Sparks of Genius. They exercise their minds playing computer “games” specifically designed to improve their mental strength, stamina, speed, flexibility and balance and, of course, to spark their genius. We use the term “brainworksbetter” exercises, and each member receives a customized set of exercises. They are assisted by friendly, highly-skilled personal trainers who are passionately dedicated to the success of each member of our fitness community. Many members of the fitness center also “work out” on home computer to maximize brain functioning and peak performance.

  I dream of hearing the sounds of success, joy, confidence and discovery as more people around Florida, the country and the world discover, ignite and express their unique sparks of genius in a fun-filled, challenging, supportive, gym-like environment.

  I see them all overcoming limitations, defying labels and breaking boundaries with their awesome accomplishments.”

  –Dr. Rohn Kessler, Ed. D.

• 18Sep

  Parents: Sometimes You Don’t Know How Far Your Child Can Go

  intelligence, parenting No Comments

  There’s a great story about a child with Down’s Syndrome who by the age of three was walking, running down ramps, climbing up slides, saying about 1,000 words, a bunch of short sentences, and following three-step requests.

  His mother was pleased with his progress, but not the director of his program, who said “Sure, he’s a cute little guy and he’s doing nicely, but he could be doing so much better. You need to push him beyond his comfort level.”

  http://www.aish.com/spirituality/growth/Going_the_Extra_Mile.asp

  The director was referring a very intensive brain development program to improve vestibular function. Vestibular function includes coordination and balance skills to jump, hop, skip, and run. The child is put in an anti-gravity device with a harness and swung, flipped, cart-wheeled, rotated in all directions.

  It seems the child loved this activity, but the director said “He shouldn’t be laughing and enjoying himself while being flung about like that.”Think about it. You and I would be throwing up after three minutes of those acrobatics. The fact that he’s enjoying it means his brain isn’t getting it. His cerebellum is not yet growing and developing enough to reach the kind of coordination and balance he’s going to need to function normally. You need to intensify the swinging, up the ante to the point where he’s a little uncomfortable and apprehensive. That would be a good sign.”

  The mother said “I don’t know much about brain development, but as a parent trying to maximize her child’s potential, it made sense. Just as your muscles don’t develop if you don’t work up a sweat, lift weights and push yourself, a child’s brain needs to be pushed beyond its comfort level in order to create new circuits and neuro-connections.”

  A few weeks later her son disliked the intensified version of the swinging routine and started complaining. The mother called the director and asked if she should stop it or slow it down.

  “Stop it? No! That’s wonderful news!” the director said. “Keep the swinging at that level — that’s perfect.” He explained that her son was starting to grow new vestibular connections in his brain.

  “You guys are doing a great job. And you know what,” he added, as if to impart a wonderful secret, “the more effort you put in, the more your son will develop and function as a regular kid. There’s nothing stopping him. It’s all up to you.”

  The mother ends the story by bringing up an important point: to help their children develop their full potential, parents must stretch and flex their spiritual muscles as well as physical muscles.

  In doing so they become much more humble, patient, grateful and wise.

  We see this often at Sparks of Genius (www.sparksofgenius.com). Personal Trainers at our brain fitness center teach children and adults to overcome labels and move beyond limitations decided by others.

  Just as the director was raising the bar higher and breaking the child’s comfort barrier, he was pushing both parents to go beyond their own self-imposed limitations.

  Many are taught that if you can’t go over, you go under. We teach that if you can’t go over- you go over.

  –Dr. Rohn Kessler

• 03Sep

  Be the Change You Want to See in your Child

  ADHD, ADD, art, auditory, parenting 1 Comment

  Is it really time for parents to get their kids back to school again? Let’s address the challenge head-on of how to optimize learning achievements and academic success.

  My experience shows that the most important thing parents can do to maximize their children’s love of learning is to expose them to wide variety of learning experiences. Notice and nurture the ones they love.

  To maximize their love of life and increase the probability that they will lead a successful and fulfilling life, teach your child to be a mensch—a really good person of noble character and deeds.

  Guy Kawasaki writes in Art of the Start that a mensch 1) helps lots of people, 2) does what’s right, and 3) pays back society. On a scale of 1-10, ten being the highest and one the lowest, where do you rate yourself in these three areas?

  Our in-house research shows that an increasing number of students are bored, frustrated, off-task and underachieving in school. Furthermore, most students with good and even great grades bored, frustrated and not optimizing their talents.

  Many parents today are “CrazyBusy” schlepping their kids all over the place (http://sparkmygenius.com/?p=176).

  Look at all this running around and then look at yourself from your child’s position. What does he see, hear, think, and feel? Most of us think we know; many of us do not.

  Is there enthusiasm, confidence and motivation to start school? My personal and professional experience says “Probably not much.”

  In fact, many students equate school with learning and believe when not in school they don’t have to learn anything. Worse, many children get turned off to learning completely.

  That’s where Sparks of Genius can help, for we identify, ignite and nurture the many ways students are smart—often very smart. Students learn to set and accomplish goals they thought were unattainable. We aim to take them “over the top.”

  It is my experience that by the age of eight (end second grade), most children with learning challenges know they are “different.” By the age of ten (end of forth grade), most have internalized the idea and the feeling that this difference is not good and they are to some degree slow, incompetent, bad or dumb.

  By middle school, well, you get the idea.

  Many parents ask “How can I be the change I want to see in my child?”

  Here’s an example, more and more students “hate” to write. When was the last time your child saw you writing? What were you writing?

  What do you say or do to encourage your child to write?

  Have you taught your child that it is polite to return a letter or message he received? Try this. Sit down and write your child a letter. Put it in an envelope and mail it. When it arrives in the mailbox, give it to him. Any response? Tell him nicely and unemotionally to write a response, put it an envelope and mail it to you. Anything happen?

  The goal is, of course, for your child to write anything, write a correct address on the envelope, and mail it you.

  Of course, in today’s world, it’s more likely your child will respond to an email or instant message. If your child “hates” to write so much, it’s OK to start with emails or instant messaging. “Writing” does not have to be handwriting in the beginning.

  Please let me know what works, what doesn’t work, and how you solved the problem.

  Lastly, in-house research shows that many parents wait at least 2-3 months into the new school year before taking action to help their child. Some wait a year or more hoping “the problem will go away.”

  Sparks of Genius is a computerized brain fitness center where students work to:
  • improve attention, memory, organization and attitude
  • ignite the many ways they are smart
  • take more responsibility for their own learning
  • use computer technology to reduce frustration and impulsivity

  Don’t wait 2-3 or six months into the new school year before taking action to help your child. See if “working out” in our “electronic playground” with a personal trainer can increase your child’s grades, motivation and self-esteem.

  If you live in South Florida call 561-859-4060 now to schedule a
  FREE 30 minute workout in the Electronic Playground.

  Curious and live outside the South Florida area? Take the free learning assessment at http://www.sparksofgenius.com/screens.html

  -Dr. Rohn Kessler

• 03Sep

  Partnership…The Work of Champions!

  Sparks of Genius, parenting, social skills, teacher No Comments

  In work with children a team means everything. Your child’s self esteem and ways of relating are constructed by what they learn from team interaction. Even in graduate school students learn that the key to power for scientists is flexibility and cooperation. Many experiments show success after many well planned failures. Sometimes it takes only a new way of seeing to trigger a break through. We can mourn the past or prepare for the future, we can not do both. Often weakness in one team member will trigger unknown strength in another so it pays to obey the three fs of creativity,. Fun, flexibility and favor.

  Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be broken

  One day I was trying to find a stick to roast marshmallows on. The old ones were easy to separate from the branch but were dry and brittle. The young ones did not seem that strong but they could not be broken. They were attached to the tree and gained strength and life from it. This is like your family and you. When we are attached and meet needs for each other we are strong but when we allow the stress of life to separate us from kindness and humor our loved ones draw away in pain and begin to dry from the inside out. This applies to older people too. I will use the analogy of a Christmas tree. When I was small and Christmas was over I wanted to replant the Christmas tree. My mother laughed and said it has no roots and it is already dead. I was sure she was wrong and planted it anyway! It was cold so it looked like my mother was wrong and I rejoiced, I did notice it was not growing though….when a warm spell came death became apparent. Our roots are our families and those we work with, we can choose to be roots that help them grow or just leave them planted and alone and see how they do…. It is good to remember that live trees are a source of shade and beauty, dead trees are ugly and take a lot of work.

  To help you with your choice here are two stories

  Many years ago there were two gifted artists. They were poor and scholarships went to the politically astute so they were on their own with talent and no money. They devised a plan. The one brother went into the mines to work and support the other while he went to graduate school. This brother, spurred on by the help of his brother graduated with honors and became widely acclaimed. He went back to his brother with joy and said “I can put you through school with class”. The other brother without bitterness lifted up his hands to show them to his brother, they were broken and crooked from years in the mines. He said “I can not go, the mines have cost me my hands” The artist did a sculpture of his brothers hands, they became his greatest work. Most of us know them as they became the image for the famous serenity prayer. In life sometimes we are the hands and at other times the artist. It is good to consider the cost to our team and provide feedback and favor before hands are destroyed.

  The next story gives a vivid example of how we can color one another’s world

  The Serenity Prayer

  God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things we cannot change,
  The courage to change the things we can that,
  And the wisdom to know the difference.

  -Reverend Reinhold Niebuhr (1930-40)

  The next story gives a vivid example of how we can color one another’s world

  The Window

  It will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking.

  Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
  One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.
  His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
  The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

  Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

  The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

  The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.

  Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

  As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

  One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.

  Although the other man could not hear the band – he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

  Days, weeks and months passed.

  One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.

  She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

  As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

  Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.
  He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.

  It faced a blank wall.

  The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

  The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

  She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”

  Epilogue:

  There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

  Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

  If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can’t buy.

  “Today is a gift that is why it is called The Present .”

  ---

  by Amy Price PhD © 2007

• 28Aug

  A Parents’ Dilemma: Where to send my child to School?

  ADHD, ADD, aspergers, homework, learning disability, parenting, school, social skills, stress, teacher No Comments

  Is my child going to the right school?

  Deciding this seemingly simple question can be agonizing for parents. Not only are some schools “objectively” better (lower teacher student ratios, more enrichment programs, etc) but one kind of child could fail in the same school where a different child would thrive. It happened to Albert Einstein. He hated school in Munich because of its rote memorization and constant drills. He prospered at a Swiss school where they taught visual thinking. The things that he learned there enabled him to be……well, Albert Einstein. Visual thinking enabled him to create experiments in his head. Einstein was probably a visual learner and this school played to his strength, enabling him to develop his spark of genius.

  There are some things to look for when you are school shopping and these criteria can be helpful in assessing whether your child’s needs are being met in his present academic environment.

  First of all, what are the strengths of your child’s school? Do they foster independence or provide adequate structure? In an extreme example, a bright motivated student like Einstein might benefit from a Montessori type open classroom with resources for him to explore his own interests and to progress at his own pace.

  But this type of approach could leave an autistic child staring at the lights. For these children, one of the most successful approaches is called Applied Behavioral Analysis, with constant repetition, positive reinforcement and prompting. Additionally a child with attention issues can be overwhelmed if too much is happening in the classroom.

  It’s also important to assess how much individual instruction is available. An introverted, introspective child who could get lost in the shuffle or for a child with attention problems who needs more redirection can really benefit from customized attention.

  Then you need to know your child’s strengths. Is there a match? Does this school stimulate your child’s spark of genius? It can be helpful to ask the school who would be a successful learner there.

  Of course, your child’s teachers make a difference here too. Sometimes a child will do poorly one year and really come around the next because the teacher understands what the child needs to succeed. Parents and teachers are the most important part of any child’s learning team, and it’s important that they work together. Find out the best way to communicate with your child’s teacher and stay abreast of what’s happening in the classroom.

  Now I am thinking about this at the beginning of school here in Florida and I don’t want parents to second guess themselves and wonder if they made the right school decision. I believe that everything happens for a reason and that we can learn something from every experience. Remember that Einstein was at the “wrong” school in the beginning, but maybe memorizing equations gave him the building blocks he needed for revolutionizing physics.

  Remember that finding the right education for your child is a process. Any steps that you take to ensuring a better fit between your child, the teacher and the school will benefit your child’s sparks of genius.

  By Ninah Kessler, LCSW
  Life Coach

• 20Aug

  Food for thought?

  parenting, school, teacher No Comments

  In many counties around the U.S. school districts are offering free breakfasts to students under the theory that if you’re hungry then you aren’t at your best. They’re hoping to see an increase in grades and standardized test scores, especially in poor schools where students are often short on good scores and good meals. Will it work? I am sure it will, to some degree.

  What I find so interesting is the extreme nature of the comments about these programs. Holy cow! People are angry about providing breakfast!

  Here’s a sample (from here).

  “And this is yet ANOTHER reason why I, as a teacher, have just moved to another county!”

  “I, as a taxpayer am fed up with the PBC school board and their reckless squandering of my tax $$. If people want to have kids THEY should be forced to provide for them.” (Ed: There is definitely squandering…but not on this program!)

  “Stop all FREE food programs (maybe we should teach the kids that there is no such thing as a FREE lunch, or anything else)”

  “How scary is is that we allow the same people that bring us the IRS, DMV, and Social Security to TEACH OUR KIDS?!?!?!?” (Ed: Good point…it is scary!)

  “Why should I as a taxpayer subsidize free breakfast for all?”

  “The qualification for free breakfast/lunch is $26k for a family of four. Really, consider living on that w/2 children, or as a single parent w/3 children, and I would assume we have a parent who possibly leaves home before the children have breakfast. Judge not, that ye be not judged. Be grateful these children are being fed a nutritious breakfast, for they are probably in need.”

  What do you think? Leave us a comment!

  -Allen Dobkin

• 14Aug

  Pulitzer Prize Winner with Aspergers

  aspergers, intelligence, learning disability, parenting, social skills No Comments

  My friend’s son has Aspergers and wants to be a singer. The problem is it’s hard not to cringe when he sings. It is very soulful and when I listen to him I wonder if he isn’t into some kind of more evolved singing and the rest of us just can’t get it. I’m reminded of an old Twilight Zone for those less aged than I am, it was a popular science fiction show in the fifties) In this episode a woman is horribly deformed and has plastic surgery after plastic surgery. We await the results of the most recent attempt. The camera cuts to the woman in bandages, then pans away and we hear the pitying voices of the doctors bemoaning the surgery as a failure. The camera focuses on the woman who is drop dead gorgeous – played by a popular model of the time. It is then that we realize that we haven’t seen the faces of anyone, and that the doctors all look like pigs. I wonder if this isn’t a lot like living with Aspergers.

  Tonight on NPR I heard an interview with Tim Page, a Pulitzer Prize winning music critic for the Washington Post with Aspergers. Robert Siegel was interviewing him because he had written a description of what it was like to grow up with Aspergers in the New Yorker Magazine. He called the article “Parallel Play”. He felt that the Aspergers led to a lifetime of “restless isolation” because he couldn’t connect with others in “normal” ways.

  He said Aspergers was “a different way of processing information.” He was “obsessed with detail, with music and with old photographs. Throughout his life he has possessed an extraordinary memory for facts and data. However, he was oblivious to most social things and had to read Emily Post to learn how other people related to each other. Although he was praised for thinking outside of the box, he admitted that he often couldn’t even find the box.

  “Aspergers is something that you never get over, but you learn to live with it.”

  Tim Page has lived well and is an inspiration to others.

  To hear a podcast of this story please go to:
  http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=12750745

  Ninah Kessler, LCSW
  Life Coach

• 08Aug

  Taking the work out of Homework

  ADHD, ADD, aspergers, homework, learning disability, parenting, school No Comments

  The days are getting shorter. School is starting. Homework is coming. Arguments about homework generate anger and frustration for parents and children. It’s easy to understand the child’s perspective. They’re in school all day and then they are free – BUT WAIT – there is homework to do. As parents we know that homework not only gives the kids an opportunity to practice what they have learned in school but also teaches skills like organization and setting priorities that are essential in the “real” world. Not to mention the scholastic consequences of incomplete assignments

  So how can we make it a little easier this year?

  How much homework is too much?

  Your child, especially a young child, shouldn’t be spending his life on homework. There needs to be a balance. The experts agree that a kindergartener or second grader shouldn’t be spending more than about 20 minutes a day on homework, and even older elementary school kids benefit most from spending an hour at most. After 4th grade, it is important that your child practice math, because since math builds on itself, deficits here can mushroom. When your child is in middle school more homework is appropriate.

  If your young child is routinely spending hours completing his work, something needs to be done.

  Simple Steps can help

  There are some very basic things that we can do to make homework easier. You have probably thought of them but may not have gotten to implement them. Some simple steps from pediatrics.about.com include:

  • Provide your child with a quiet, well lit place to do homework with materials such as pens and a dictionary available.
  • Establish a set time for doing homework, not right before bedtime. Think about using a weekday morning or afternoon for working on big projects, especially those that involve working with others.
  • Help your child figure out what is easy homework and what is hard homework. Encourage your child to do the hard homework first when he is most alert.

  How much should I help my child with homework?

  We all know that it is your child’s homework not yours. You want to give your child as much independence as you possibly can but if the child is floundering, you don’t want him to sink.

  Even if your child is doing ok, it’s good to acknowledge him when he is doing his work and to reward any accomplishments. “Johnny, I like the way that you’re concentrating on your math problems.” “Wow, Helen, you worked really hard on your science project. Let’s celebrate with a trip to the park.” As important as acknowledgment and rewards are when your child is doing well, they are ESSENTIAL when your child is struggling

  When your child is struggling.

  If you child is spending 3 hours on 6 math problems or can’t organize his thoughts to write and essay (see our blog on how to write an essay), then you know there is a problem, and you need to find ways to intervene without taking over.

  For example, if difficulty paying attention is the problem with the math, you can cut a whole in a piece of paper so your child only sees one math problem at a time. This is a very low tech solution, but some of the new technology can also be helpful. For example, there is a program called Inspiration (which Dr Rohn used to help teachers teach science) which maps out your thoughts. Once your child’s thoughts are mapped out, it’s much easier for him to write that essay. If writing itself is a problem, your child may benefit from typing his assignments on the computer.

  You want to be available for your child, especially when they are having a hard time, because you don’t want them to get so frustrated that they don’t do their homework and then they fall behind in school.

  When is the help you do too much? Remember that interference is when you do what the child could do by himself. Additional suggestions can be found at about.com or here.

  My child says he finished his homework

  Some children who are frustrated with homework will just tell their parents “I already did my homework” or “I don’t have any homework tonight.” In the old days the main way a parent could verify this statement was to work with the teacher to create a homework pad where the teachers would write down the child’s assignments. You could also call a friend.

  While there is nothing wrong with this approach, today many teachers will post homework on a web site or will email assignments to parents.

  When you need a professional

  If there is a problem the first person to go to is your child’s teacher. It is important that parents and teachers can work together on this. The teacher may be able to make accommodations for the child. For example, the teacher may allow you to cut assignments short when the child is having an especially difficult time. If the child does not complete assignments because he can’t write, the teacher may allow you to write down your child’s answers. That relationship with the teacher apprises you of what’s going on, so you don’t get a big surprise at report card time.

  The teacher might recommend a tutor, and there are many good ones out there. Sometimes the difficulty doing homework may reflect a deeper problem. For example, if your child just cannot focus or pay attention that could be the issue. Please take the free 39 point learning assessment at our website (SparksofGenius.com) to see if an attention or focusing issue is the problem.

  Make sure the homework is in the backpack

  My friend would sit down with her son night after night and go over his homework. Then he would forget to put it in his backpack and get an incomplete. She finally helped him organize his backpack and checked to make sure the assignment was there. It must have worked, because now he is going off to college to major in computers. He is a smart kid, just disorganized.

  I hope that this makes homework a little easier. If you are frustrated, remember that you are not alone. Another friend of mine thought that having a child was like having a very intense cat. Boy was she wrong. Every problem has a solution, but that doesn’t mean that finding the solution doesn’t require some work. Hang in there and have a great school year.

  By Ninah Kessler, LCSW
  Life Coach

• 07Aug

  Want Your Children to be Smarter in School This Year?

  Sparks of Genius, homework, intelligence, learning disability, parenting, school, teacher No Comments

  Tell them to Think of Their Brain as a Muscle

  Research shows that students do better in school when they are told they can get smarter by training their brains to get stronger— like a muscle.

  Article here.

  Does your child see intelligence as something fixed or something expandable?

  Students who think intelligence is fixed become preoccupied with whether they look smart or dumb. They also tend to avoid difficult tasks. |Not good!

  But students who believe they can develop and expand intelligence usually like being challenged. They try harder, are more persistent and worry about making mistakes and looking dumb. This is good.

  In one experiment of 12 year old students with similar math achievement scores, those with a fixed mindset did worse in math than those who were taught that the brain is a muscle. And, the gap between the two groups widened over the years.

  Carol Dweck, a psychologist and researcher at Stanford University said:

  “We taught them that the brain forms new connections every time they applied themselves and learned,” she explained. “It gave them a new model of how their minds worked, and how they had control of their brains and could make it work better. The idea is to free them from the tyranny of fear of looking dumb. The name of the game is learning.”

  Students need to understand that their intellectual potential is not fixed. So do parents and educators.

  Some games that exercise the brain to get stronger can be found here.

  Moreover, there are many ways to be smart that are undervalued in school and at home—so-called multiple intelligences.

  Students at Sparks of Genius learn that their brain forms new connections when they work hard to learn and learn. They also learn how to take full responsibility for learning buy controlling their mind and their brain to work better.

  Sparks of Genius personal trainers use a high tech (software) high touch (character development) formula to help students train their brain for success

  We identify, ignite and nurture many intelligences. It’s a great way to increase student achievement.

  To learn more about your child’s learning potential

  fill out the FREE 39-Point Learning Assessment now. http://sparksofgenius.com/screens.html.

  Dr. Rohn Kessler

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